When Blonde Goes Bad: Top 3 Things to Avoid if you’re a Blonde

Courtesy of Bravo’s Real Housewives

So I totally admit, I watch Bravo’s Real Housewives pretty religiously.  I wait very patiently through the revolving door of cast members of New York, persistent attitude of New Jersey, and the never ending cat fights of Atlanta until either the original Orange County or its much younger sister Beverly Hills finally gives me a reason to include Bravo back in my very limited perusal of network channels.  The friendships change, the men change, their homes change (a lot), but one thing that never, ever changes, and that I can never get over each time I tune into watch, is how the blondes look on the show.  And what’s more, these women pay ridiculous amounts of money to have Barbie inspired hair.  Here are the top three blonde ambitions gone wrong that my favorite gals from SoCal repeat each and every season.

1. Stark Roots

For all of the elegance and grace that this former Playboy model likes to project in Beverly Hills, you would think Camille, or at least her stylist, would pay more attention to the consistent reminder to everyone that Camille is not a natural blond.

Newly separated Adrienne Maloof is no better at hiding her dark roots, and might want to think about changing her stylist along with her domestic status.

Finally, Tamra Barney must think that her roots help make her certainly not the youngest, but apparently the hottest, housewife in the OC, as she has previously exclaimed at the beginning of the episodes.

2. Brassy is not Classy

There appears to be somewhat of a subtle competition going on in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area to see who can ultimately become the blondest of them all.  Brassy hair - hair that appears gold or has a red-orangish tint - happens for various reasons. One of the biggest culprits is over-processing.  With being on television and all, I am sure the ladies of the Real Housewives make sure to get their blonde tresses touched up often and perhaps even go yet another shade lighter.  If their stylist obliges, the result can be Kim Richardson’s shiny, golden Barbie doll locks.

Vicki Gunvelson’s overly gold, shiny hair only enhances the effect of her sunless tan.

Taylor Armstrong most likely wanted shiny blonde highlights to make her big brown eyes pop even more, but the result has a nice orange accent to her strands.  Proper toning is the best way to fix brassy blonde issues.

3. Matching Blonde to Skin Tone

Skin tone is packaged in a set of two: you either have a warm skin tone or a cool one.  Cooler skin tones, such as the blue-eyed and pink-cheecked Vicki Gunvelson and Gretchen Rossi, both fall victim to the same mistake in their journey for the perfect shade of blonde.

While it is true that cooler skin tones can pull off ash-blonde hair, you have to be careful that it doesn’t blend in with your skin tone and therefore wash your features out.  Both Vicki and Gretchen’s ash blonde coifs blend in too much with their pink skin tones, therefore washing them out instead helping them stand out.  On the other hand,

Alexis Bellino needs to decide what shade of blonde works best for her warm skin tone, instead of incorporating several different shades of blonde into one head of hair.  There is just too much going on with her combination of darker and lighter blonde locks, making her hair very distracting instead of enhancing.

Now don't get me wrong, even though I have critically examined these women's' blonde tresses, that does not mean I think they are unattractive or unappealing. In fact, I think all of these women are gorgeous and if they aren't already successful in their business ventures, they are certainly trying to get there. What will only enhance both their beauty and their professionalism though is to find the shade and tone of blonde that works best for them, and to properly take care of their hair color to bolster their personalities and style, not distract from it.

Now this photo below?  There are no words.

real housewives bad hair

For the love of hair and reality tv,

Kati